The Mastery of Love, Don Miguel Ruiz writes about a pizza kitchen as a metaphor for self-love. He tells the story of a person making, eating, and sharing all types of glorious pizza in their happy kitchen.
Then, someone shows up and says, “I’ll give you this other pizza if you let me control your life.” If the person were starving, they’d grab that pizza out of desperation. If, on the other hand, their kitchen (a full life) was bursting with pizza (healthy relationships, self-love, a support system, self-esteem), there’s no way they’d need to take another pizza from the controlling pizza negotiator.
The stronger we get, and the more we fill our lives with love, joy, and positive actions, the less we feel we’ll barrel into flytraps. Trust in our path and worth should ground us in knowing the slow-build can and will yield everything we desire, eventually. We just need to first be patient enough to walk mindfully through the initial awkwardness of loving ourselves.
You can’t escape for long because at some point you reach a place where you get fucked up if you don’t address them. Never force relationships on yourself or anyone, don’t get trapped by words dipped in jaggery. Words mean nothing. Actions do. If you meet someone, whose soul is not aligned with yours, send them love and move along. People who only “talk” will take your focus away from your life. Your life will go deranged. You choose?
Don’t chase people either. And hey, Those who left, left us a lesson. People try to tell you who you are all the time. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people- the ones who really belong in your life- will come to you. And, stay.
The most important part of Relationship is knowing yourself. When you don’t know yourself, your worth, or what you stand for you will FALL for anyone’s bullshit. You must know yourself first to know someone better to decide whether somebody is good for your mental health or not, that somebody is worth your time or not. Yes, be adaptable and go with the vibes but have a backbone and stand for something. Nothing about relationship is fair, especially in this generation. You MUST have a backbone and you must stand up for yourself. The man or woman this is for, they will only respect you if you respect yourself first. This is law. Say “No” more, don’t be a people pleaser. Be who you are. Set your standards high because you deserve the best. Give yourself the best life that you can so when you date people, they can MATCH the efforts that you are already giving yourself.